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DBZ Humor Chapters 1-5
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DBZ: Tears of Torment
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Inuyasha: Second Chance
Bulma's Confessions

DISCLAIMER- I don't own Dragonball Z or GT. I used the characters created by Akira Toriyama to write this for fun. I don't profit from this in any way.

Chapter I

 

 

It was a beautiful summer day: not too hot. The sun shone brilliantly, quietly basking the land in its warming glow. Not a cloud shone in the endless blue sky. The grass was a lush green, and the trees stood tall and strong. The household of Son Goku and Gohan stood in a small clearing near a crystal clear stream. It was a perfect day

"YOURE WHAT?!"

Pan, daughter of Gohan and Videl stood before her parents, looking quite uncomfortable, but determined. Gohan was standing in front of a fallen chair, his eyes were bulging as big as oranges. Videl sat next to him, looking forward with a blank stare.

"Im gay." Pan said.

"WHAT?!" Gohan shouted in shock again.

"Im not going to say it a third time, Daddy." Pan said, placing her hands on her hips.

Gohan reached back to grab his chair, unable to find it, he moved to the table and leaned against it. He rubbed his head with his hand, trying to make sense of what his only child had told him.

"Are are you sure?" Videl asked, not once looking away from the air directly in front of her.

Pan rolled her eyes, "Yes, Mom, Im sure."

"When Where Why When Who?" Gohan stuttered, not able to choose the right question to ask first.

"How long have you known?" Videl asked for him.

Pan tilted her head, thinking back. "Oh, about a year or so."

Gohan finally found a seat and collapsed into it. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "But How"

"How did you find out?" Videl again asked for her speechless husband.

Pan shrugged. "I just knew."

"You arent seeing somebody are you?" Videl asked, obviously completely uncomfortable about the idea.

"Not right now, but I have thought about it." Pan said, acting perfectly natural.

"Does anybody else know about this?" Gohan inquired, finally regaining his composure.

Pan shook her head. "You guys are the first Ive told."

Gohan nodded, not in approval, but in relief. "We are going to the Briefs for a cookout in a few hours. I think we should keep this little fact to ourselves for a while."

Pan furrowed her brow in anger. "How come? They are our friends. They deserve to know."

Videl shook her head quickly. "What they dont know wont hurt them."

"What? How could it hurt them?!" Pan demanded.

Just then, the front door swung open and Goten and Goku charged in. "We heard somebody yell, is everything all right?" Goten asked immediately. They both wore the traditional Turtle School orange gi, showing that they had been sparring in the woods.

Gohan jumped up, and smiled innocently. "Nothings wrong. Videl just uh"

Videl jumped up with the same smile. "I snuck up behind him and scared him!"

"Uh Yeah!" Gohan laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "I was too deep in work!"

Pan rolled her eyes. "Give me a break." She directed her attention to her grandfather and uncle. "I told them that I-"

She was cut off as Videls hand covered her mouth. "She told us that she cant wait to see her friends again!"

Videl and Gohan both laughed innocently.

"Uh okay." Goku said. "Anyway, Goten and I thought that it would be good to go see Chi-chi before we went over to Capsule Corp."

Gohan and Videl nodded. "Yeah! Sounds great! Well meet you there!"

Goku and Goten left to change. Once they were gone, Videl moved her hand away from Pans mouth.

"Jeeze Mom!" Pan yelled the second she was able. "Youd think that I was going to curse their souls or somethin."

Gohans innocent look changed to a stern one. "Pan, you must promise NOT to tell ANYONE about this today." Pan crossed her arms stubbornly. "This will be the first time in three years we are seeing everybody again, and we dont want to make everybody uncomfortable the second we see them." Pan frowned. "Please, promise."

"Oh, okay." Pan gave in.

"Thank you." Gohan said, wiping his forehead of some sweat that he just became aware of. "Now lets go see grandma."

Chapter II

 

 

"Were here to see my wife, Chi-chi." Goku told the receptionist at the West City Mental Institution.

She typed a bit on the computer in front of her. "Okay, go on in." A buzzing sound signaled that the door was open.

The five people quietly entered to the visitors section. All around were tables. Small groups of people sat at some, talking with the patient they were here to see.

Goku, Goten, Gohan, Videl and Pan quietly made their way to a table at the far end of the room. Chi-chi sat at this table. She wore a white hospital gown, with her hair down. Her eyes were puffy, but she had a wide smile on her face. When she saw her family coming, the smile grew even more.

Before they could even make it to the table, Chi-chi had jumped up and ran to them. She locked Goku in a vice-grip hug. "Oh! Goku! Ive missed you so much!"

Goku laughed uncomfortably. "Ive missed you too, Chi-chi."

Chi-chi let out a squeak of joy, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the table. The others followed.

They all took a seat, Chi-chi still hung on to her husband as if letting go would mean certain death. She glanced over the others. When she saw Gohan, her happy face twisted into one of anger. "Gohan!" She yelled, making everybody in the room jump a little. "What are you doing away from your studies?!"

Gohan laughed. "I took a break to come see you." He said, trying to humor her.

She smiled warmly again. "Oh, how sweet. But be sure to get back to work after." Her voice was sweet and kind again.

"I will, Mom."

Chi-chi then looked to Goten. "Goten, have you taken your bath yet?" Goten blushed, but like everybody else, didnt want to upset her, and nodded. "Thats my boy."

The visit didnt last long, as Chi-chi would continue to nag Gohan about studying, and bug Goten about washing. All the while, she never released Goku.

Finally, the group stood up to leave. Goku had to practically pry Chi-chi from his arm. "Chi-chi, we have to go."

Chi-chi let go, her eyes watering up. "Are you divorcing me, Goku?"

"No! No, no." Goku frantically said, trying to stop her from crying, "I just need to take Gohan to class."

Chi-chi suddenly became angry. "If you think for a second that Im going to believe that, youve got another thing coming! I know that you want to take him out to train!"

Goku shook his head. "No, Chi-chi! I promise!"

Chi-chi crossed her arms and closed her eyes in anger. "Im sure." She said sarcastically. She suddenly moved over to Gohan and grabbed his arm. "I will take him, myself!" She marched towards the door, pulling a struggling Gohan behind her.

"No, Chi-chi, you have to stay here!" Goku called out.

The woman ignored him as she walked. A security guard that stood at the door stopped her. "Where do you think youre going?" He asked.

"Im taking my son to school!" Chi-chi declared.

"Sorry, but you cant do that."

Goku and the rest ran to the door, and with the help of the guard, pulled Chi-chi away without hurting her.

As they left, they could hear Chi-chi yelling. "Be back by dinner!"

 

Chapter III

 

 

"Today is the day." Trunks said to himself. He sat alone in his old room, waiting for the cookout to begin. "All I have to do is walk up to Pan and say Pan, wanna go out sometime? How hard can that be?"

Trunks sighed. That wouldnt do. Not at all. Not for what he felt. He was in love with her, and only her. He was a thirty year-old bachelor, and only for that reason. He had had plenty of chances to date other women, but turned every one down, knowing that he would only be happy with his best-friends niece. The fact that she only seventeen didnt affect him in any way.

Nobody, of course, knew of his affection towards the teen-aged girl. In fact, if they knew, they would probably think of him as a pervert. It didnt matter to him, however, and after today, she would know. After today, they would be happy.

Suddenly, the door to his room swung open. "Trunks, go get your sister, everybody is on their way." Bulma said. Trunks nodded, took a deep breath, and left.

He knew where his sister would be. She was in the basement. She rarely ever left. What she did down there, he didnt want to know, though he could easily guess.

He opened the door to the basement and called down. "Bra! Theyre almost here!"

The blue-haired girl appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Okay, just let me wash up a bit!" She called back up. Trunks couldnt help but notice that her hands were covered in a thick, red substance that he could only guess was blood.

"Okay." Trunks responded before closing the door and turning around. He headed in front of their home. Bulma was at the driveway, where a hover car was parked.

Krillin stepped out of the drivers side and went over to the trunk. 18 and Marron both got out on the other side. Marron and 18 went around to greet Bulma, while Krillin heaved a mound of packages into his arms.

Bulma saw this and turned to her son. "Trunks, can you help him?"

Trunks nodded and stepped forward to help Krillin, when 18 stopped him "No. Let him carry them in by himself." She then turned to her husband. "Krillin!" She shouted, "If you drop even one of those, Ill personally see to it that you wont see happiness for the next month!"

"Yes, Dear." Krillin said in a monotone voice.

"Uh well would you like to come inside? Goku and his family havent arrived yet." Bulma offered.

18 turned to the older woman and smiled. "Id love to." Then back to Krillin, she yelled. "Hurry up!"

"Yes, Dear."

"Whats in the packages?" Bulma asked as the two ladies walked to the building.

"Oh, just some gifts for your family, and Gokus family." The android replied.

As the family of three went inside with Bulma, Trunks noticed that Krillin seemed to drag his feet, carefully carrying the mountain of gifts in his arms.

Chapter IV

 

 

18, Marron, Trunks and Bra all went to the back to start up the event, while Bulma greeted the remaining guests.

Yamcha was the first to arrive. He wore his black hair in a ponytail, even though he had an obvious receding hairline. He was of course, accompanied by Puar.

"Hi, Yamcha, good to see you again." Bulma greeted.

The man nodded, "Good to see you, too, Bulma."

"Everybodys around back." She said with a smile.

He smiled back, "Thanks, Bulma."

As he left, Bulma saw an old man and pig get out of a taxi and make their way up to the house. Bulma closed her eyes, dreading what was surly to come.

"Hiya, Bulma!" Master Roshi yelled as he trotted up, wearing his traditional Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. Bulma nodded. When he reached her, he bent down and clearly addressed her breasts. "And, how are you two today?"

Bulmas face became as red as her dress. Roshi smiled up at her, just before being hit in the face by her fist.

Oolong took a step back, letting the man fall back. "I dont think she liked your joke, Old Man." The pig said.

"In back." Bulma said, closing her eyes in anger and pointing.

Oolong grabbed Roshis foot and began dragging him towards the back. "Thanks, Toots." He suddenly shot out at a run, narrowly avoiding Bulmas foot.

Bulma shook her head in embarrassment. When she looked up, she saw Tien and Chiaotzu walk up.

Her mood immediately lightened. "Hi, guys, Im glad you could come."

Tien smiled warmly and nodded, "Yes, it will be nice to see all our friends again."

"Well, they are in back." Tien and Chiaotzu bowed in respect, then left.

Suddenly, Goku, Goten, Gohan, Videl, and Pan materialized in front of Bulma, making her jump out of her skin.

Goku lowered his fingers from his forehead, while the rest removed their hands from each others shoulders.

"Damnit, Goku!" Bulma yelled, "I wish you wouldnt do that!"

Goku laughed, "But Instant Transmission is the fastest way to travel."

Bulma shook her head, "I dont care, I dont want you doing it to me again!"

Gohan, Goten and Videl all laughed along with Goku, while Pan crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Everybody is out back." Bulma said, "I need to go get Vegeta." With that, she headed for the gravity room while the family went towards the already overwhelming smell of food.

In back, the barbecue was in full swing. Trunks and Bra stood behind four different grills, each with a different type of meat sizzling on top. Several tables and umbrellas had been set out across the lawn.

Yamcha and Tien talked under a tree. Oolong and Puar chatted at a table with Yajarobi, who had been there since he heard about a chance for free food. 18 and Marron sat at another table, cautiously watching Roshi, who was trying to move in on them. Krillin stood near the door to the house, his head low, not talking to anyone.

Goku, fighting the urge to go near the food, walked over to Tien and Yamcha. Videl and Gohan went over to their own table. Pan was about to follow them until she heard Trunks holler for her. Eventually, Bulma returned with an upset looking Vegeta.

Bulma quickly went to talk with Gohan and Videl, while Vegeta stood near another tree alone.

So far, so good. Thought Bulma as she looked around the yard, Then again, what could possibly go wrong?

Chapter V

 

 

"So Pan how have you been?" Trunks asked shyly.

Pan shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"How has school been going?"

Pan shrugged again. "Cant complain."

Trunks laughed half-heartily, and nodded. Pan cocked an eyebrow towards him. "Youre acting funny."

"I I am?" Trunks stuttered, quickly going back to flipping burgers, trying to act normal.

"Yeah."

Trunks laughed again, "I guess the hunger is getting to me!"

"Heh, yeah." Pan faked a laugh.

"Uh so youre graduating next year, huh?" Trunks said, quickly changing the subject.

Pan nodded. "Yep."

They stood silent for a few uncomfortable moments. "Go away." Bra suddenly said.

They both turned around to see. Oolong was standing on a chair next to her, trying to talk to her. "What?" He said defensively, "Cant I know your bra size? I mean, your name is Bra. Its only right!"

Bra glared at him. "Dont make me hurt you, Pig."

Trunks brought his attention back to Pan. Bra was fully capable of taking care of the pest by herself. In fact, it would have been in Oolongs best interest to leave. Trunks knew just how capable Bra was.

"So, Pan, do you have a boyfriend?" Trunks asked, trying to ignore what was going on behind him.

Pan smiled and glanced towards her parents. "No."

Trunks smiled deeply. Nows my chance. He thought.

"Pan, I-" He began.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Bra suddenly screamed.

Trunks whipped around to see what had happened this time. Oolong had moved to the ground, and was currently trying to look up Bras skirt. Bras face was completely red, both from embarrassment, and anger.

She reached down and grabbed Oolong by the ears, picking him completely off the ground so he was eye-level with her. "I warned you!" She yelled. She turned to face the house, and marched in, dragging the now squirming and yelling Oolong.

As she disappeared into the house, everybody went back to their conversations as if they had not seen what happened. They just probably didnt want to think about what Bra was going to do to the pig.

Mr. Satan and Majin Buu went to the table that Gohan and Videl sat at. Mr. Satan sat down in a chair, while Buu sat on the grass and sadly watched the others. The big pink blob sighed heavily, not paying attention to the conversation going on at the table.

"Whats wrong with him?" Videl asked, gesturing to the cape-wearing man.

"Oh, Bee died this morning." Her father answered.

"Oh, poor guy."

Mr. Satan shrugged, "Its okay. The dog was old, and we all know that nothing can last forever."

"Hey, Buu." Gohan said, grabbing the blobs attention. "Do you want a new dog?"

Buus face lightened a bit. "Buu can have Bee back?"

"Uh" Gohan was thrown off by the request, "No I mean a new dog."

Buus hopeful face darkened and he looked away sadly, "No. Buu want Bee back."

"Cant you wish the dog back to life with the dragonballs?" Videl asked, taking pity on the bubble-gum creature.

"No. She died of natural causes. The dragon cant wish people or things back that died naturally."

"Thats too bad." Mr. Satan said. "I miss that mutt too."

"Lunch is served!" Bulma suddenly shouted across the lawn. With those words, every Saiyan, Demi-Saiyan and quarter Saiyan rushed the grills like a pack of starving wolves. Even Gohan jumped up, knocking over the table in the process, and sprinted over.

Goku, Gohan, Goten, Vegeta, Trunks, and Pan all swarmed the four grills, trying their best to reach the food. Even Bra ran from the house to join the fray. Oolong was nowhere to be seen.

Bulma struggled to save enough for the rest of the people, but failed miserably. Goku alone, walked away with five burgers, two hot-dogs, three steaks, and six shish-kabob sticks. By the time the Saiyans cleared out, there was barley enough for anybody else. After everybody was served, Bulma went in to retrieve more frozen meat.

Dispite how much food they had, the Saiyans were the first finished. Even then, Pan was the only one who seemed full. Goku, Gohan, Goten, Vegeta and Trunks had to wait patently until more food was done. Bra immediately returned to the house.

Just as the activity began to wind down, Piccolo floated in. Bulma was the first to greet him.

"Piccolo! Good that you decided to come!" She said happily.

Piccolo huffed. "Whatever."

Bulma smiled and looked around. "Sorry, but you came too late. There wont be any more food for a little bit."

"It doesnt matter. Im a vegetarian anyway."

Bulmas brow furrowed. "Since when?"

The Namek shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Bulma shrugged back. "I guess not."

The two fell silent. All that could be heard was the quiet chatter of the people around them. Finally, Bulma broke the silence. "Well, I think I should see how the food is coming." With that, she headed into the house.

Trunks, having finished his meal, pulled out a deck of cards. Goten saw this, and pulled out his own. The two thirty-year-olds rushed over to the nearest table like a couple of children.

Unfortunately, Vegeta had been sitting at that particular table, and wasnt about to move. "What the hell do you think you are doing?!" He demanded angrily.

"Were gunna play DBZ." Goten said excitedly as he shuffled the deck of cards in his hands.

"Hey I have an idea." Trunks said, looking to his father.

Goten cocked an eyebrow and looked to Vegeta as well. Then, as he too realized, he smiled.

"What?" Vegeta demanded. "What?!"

"How bout you play too?" Trunks asked. Before Vegeta could even think of a response, a third deck of cards had been placed in front of him.

The Saiyan Prince looked down to the stack of colorful cards in front of him with a look of disgusted curiosity. He was even more intrigued when he saw his own picture upon the cards face. Vegeta picked up and examined the card. His name was even printed along the top.

Vegeta looked to the boys. The top card on Trunks deck was Majin Buu. The top on Gotens, was Goku.

Vegeta opened his mouth to say something when Trunks asked. "Are you a Hero, or a Villain?"

"What?"

"Are you a Hero or a Villain?" Trunks asked again. "Your card Vegeta is a Rogue Personality."

"What?"

"Just make him a Villain." Goten said.

"Okay." Trunks agreed. He then took the top few cards off Vegetas deck and set the rest face-down beside them. "That means you go first."

Goten nodded and drew three cards. Vegeta sat confused, as he watched the boy place down two cards, then draw three more. He then looked up to Vegeta. "Im fighting you."

Vegeta almost rose to his feet into a battle stance out of habit. Trunks pointed to the cards in front of Vegeta. "Draw three."

With a razed eyebrow, Vegeta did as he was told. He looked at the assortment of cards. They each had a different picture of different people performing different attacks. One had Vegeta kicking Majin Buu in the head.

That looks familiar Vegeta thought.

"Energy attack: Namekian Final Flash." Goten said, placing a card down in front of himself. "Can you block it?"

Vegeta looked down at the cards in his hand. He couldnt make heads or tails of them. What the hell was going on?

"No? Okay. Energy attack doing five life cards of damage. Costs one power stage to perform. If successful, yada yada yada." Goten said, moving the card.

Trunks reached over and took off the top five cards of Vegetas deck. "Your turn to attack, Dad."

Vegeta didnt move. He had no idea what was going on. Trunks leaned over to gaze at Vegetas hand. He picked up a card and laid it down.

"I can block that." Goten said, placing another card with the first.

"Too bad." Trunks said.

The game went on like this. Vegeta couldnt figure it out at all. It didnt make any sense! Throughout the game, cards were taken from his deck, and others added. It seemed that he never had the right cards even though Trunks practically played for him.

At one point, they claimed that his anger went up which confused him even more. He wasnt angry. Sure he was annoyed, but not angry. As he thought about it, though, he became angry. Nobody told the Prince of All Saiyans how to feel! Then all of a sudden, they said that they lowered his anger! This made him even more mad! How could he be angry, yet not have anger?!

Finally, Goten attacked him one last time. Vegeta drew his last card.

"Oh!" Trunks said suddenly, "Sorry, Dad, but it looks like you lost. Goku beat you."

Vegetas head snapped to the direction of Goku, who was laughing along with his family. Kakarot beat me?! Vegeta thought angrily.

"You lost, Dad." Trunks said again, bringing his attention back to the game. Even though Vegeta didnt know how to play, he still hated losing.

He threw the two cards he had in his hand to the table and crossed his arms. "Its a stupid game anyway."

Suddenly, the door to the house opened, and Bra came out holding a plate of bloody meat. "Who wants pork-chops?!"

Next five chapters on next link.