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DBZ Humor Chapters 11-12
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DBZ: Tears of Torment
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Familiar Evil 6-10
Familiar Evil 11-15
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DBZ Humor 1-5
DBZ Humor 6-10
DBZ Humor 11-12
Inuyasha: Second Chance
Bulma's Confessions

DISCLAIMER- I don’t own Dragonball Z or GT. I used the characters created by Akira Toriyama to write this for fun. I don’t profit from this in any way.

Chapter X

 

Downstairs, the party had moved to the living room. Goku and Goten were standing in front of everybody, trying their best to tell jokes. Anybody who laughed was either just trying to be nice, or bordering drunk.

A very upset Vegeta had polished off the remaining food when he got back from his ‘hunt’. Nobody dared to ask if he had gotten Craig, they all just feared the worst. Piccolo was still passed out on the floor, no longer from the hit to the head, but from the alcohol in his system. He had curled into a ball and slept peacefully.

Trunks saw Pan walk downstairs with his sister, and he bit his lip. He had to tell her. Now was the time. It was almost midnight, and he didn’t want to start a new day with her oblivious to his feeling.

Pan, on the other hand, was preparing for her own announcement. It was just as she had told Bra earlier; her parents had made her promise not to tell anyone about her choice, but they said nothing about tomorrow.

Goten suddenly let out a small sigh. "What’s the matter with you?" Trunks asked without taking his eyes off of Pan.

"It’s nothing, just that I wanna play Melee again." He said with a grin.

Trunks frowned, "No thank you, thanks to the game earlier, I have to humiliate myself in front of the whole city." Then silently he added, but it won’t be nearly as bad as you, my dear Goten.

"Well then, how ‘bout another game?" Goten suggested with a smirk.

"Like what?"

"Timesplitters 2, F-Zero GX, Godzilla…"

"Nah." Trunks said, halting the list.

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

I know EXACTLY what I want to do. Trunks thought, still watching Pan as she made her way to the center of the room, carefully stepping over Piccolo in doing so. Now’s the time. His thoughts took over again when he heard the clock begin to chime signifying that it was midnight. When she gets to the other side of the room, I’ll tell her. He decided, thinking she was headed toward the kitchen. How wrong he was.

Pan suddenly stopped in-between the couch and TV, immediately getting almost everybody’s attention. As the twelfth chime of the clock rang out, Pan cleared her throat and waited until everybody was looking at her.

"Everybody, I would like to tell you something." Pan began, smiling towards a very nervous looking Gohan. When he saw the look in Pan’s eyes, his face went white and he shook his head. She simply grinned wider and nodded.

"Pan, don’t you dare…" Videl said under her breath.

"I’m gay!"

The house fell dead silent. Not even the chirp of a cricket could be heard. Nobody moved, not even to blink. Gohan glanced around at the stunned faces then heard a THUD as Videl fainted.

Suddenly, the front door burst open and Krillin ran in holding a grocery bag. "18, I’m sorry it took so long!" he frantically said, "I had to wait at the store for the rain to let up so your food wouldn’t get wet…" He stopped when he saw everybody’s expressions. "What?" When nobody answered, he shrugged and walked to his wife, handing her the bag.

18 shook herself out of the shock and pushed the bag away. "You took so long, I ate here. Throw it away."

Krillin nodded sadly and began walking towards the trash, his stomach growling loudly. He didn’t dare eat the food. 18 didn’t tell him he could.

As he passed Goku, the Saiyan stopped Krillin and leaned down, his face filled with confusion.

"Krillin?" He whispered quietly, "What does ‘gay’ mean?"

Krillin simply stared at him. "Goku…" He responded, "I’m married." Then Krillin thought, "But you might wanna try this guy I saw on the way back. He was standing in the middle of the street wearing a nanner suit."

(For people who don’t know what a nanner is, you need to slap yourself ‘cause it’s not hard to figure out. And for those of you saying "why doesn’t he just type ‘banana’?", it’s more fun and funny to say ‘nanner’, so :p. And if you think that replacing the word ‘banana’ with ‘nanner’ is too stupid and juvenile, what the hell are you doing reading this fic?)

Goku’s face twisted into one of even more confusion. "Huh?"

"Then again, he was yelling something about world domination." Krillin said, returning on his course to the kitchen.

Goku straightened up and thought. Food trying to take over the earth? Not while Son Goku lives! He then announced to the still-stunned group: "I’m off to fight the nanner and stop his evil doings!"

 

 

After the confusion finally was worked out, the warriors set out to stop this unusual foe. Actually, Goku was the only one who truly wanted to go, but Gohan ushered the rest into it in an effort to get their minds off of his daughter’s confession.

The post-rain air was crisp and cool under the clouded night sky. The only means of light were from the numerous street lamps that lined the sidewalks. Of course, there was little need for the sidewalks that night.

The seven Saiyans all flew high above the earth, searching for this ‘nanner suit’ man. They flew in a small group, Goku in the lead. Behind him flew Gohan, followed by Pan and Bra. Behind them was Vegeta, and finally, Goten and Trunks.

As they progressed over the quiet city street, Goten noticed that Trunks was falling behind. "What’s the matter?" He asked, but trunks didn’t respond. He simply stared toward Pan, his face as pale as paper. For a second, Goten thought he would begin to cry, but he didn’t. "Jeeze, what’s wrong with you, man?" Again, there was no response.

Trunks’ mind was completely blank with exception of the occasional She’s… gay?

 

Chapter XI

 

Finally, after a few minutes of flying, they came upon the man Krillin had spoken of. Sure enough, he was dressed in a giant nanner suit. To one side of him was a girl wearing a strawberry suit, to his other side was a girl wearing a kiwi suit.

Behind them was a big truck filled with various fruit suits. The man in the nanner suit was laughing maniacally while the two girls watched. The group of fighters landed in front of them, ready for battle.

"Ha!" Nanner suit man laughed, "I’ve been expecting you, Superman."

Goku’s face filled with puzzlement. "Who’s ‘Superman’?"

Nanner suit man’s face filled with puzzlement. "You are not Superman?"

Goku shook his head. "No…"

"Ah, then, Batman."

Again, Goku shook his head.

"Spiderman?"

Vegeta scowled as Goku shook his head again.

"Um… Green Lantern?"

"Nope."

Nanner Suit Man pondered for a second then looked suspiciously towards them. "…Wonder Woman…?"

"Oh for Kami’s sake," Vegeta suddenly interrupted. "We’re not any of those weakling human-made super freaks!"

"Then who are you?"

Goku smiled proudly, "I’m Son Goku, protector of earth!"

"Hmm…" Nanner Suit Man thought, "Never heard of ya."

"Good! Who are you?!" Vegeta shouted.

The man smiled just as proud as Goku had, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. "I’m James, soon-to-be ruler of the earth!"

Vegeta’s eyebrow shot up, "And how do you plan to do that? I doubt that you even have a basic understanding of ki!"

"Um… ‘ki’?"

Vegeta snorted a laugh, "This is barely worth my time."

"How do you plan on taking over the world?" Goten repeated Vegeta’s question.

"Well, it’s quite an ingenious plan." James started. "You see these suits behind me?" He asked, gesturing to the truck. "When people put these on, they become my slaves, for I am Lord Nanner!"

Goten leaned to Trunks and whispered, "This guy’s got a screw loose."

James then turned around and grabbed one of the suits. He pulled the suit, which happened to be an orange, and handed to it the girl wearing the strawberry suit. "These fine women are my first victims. The one in the strawberry suit is Francesca, and the one in the Kiwi suit is Yuki (See my fic Power of a Saiyan Prince)." He smiled evilly, "Get ‘em!"

The two girls suddenly ran forward, and the fighters prepared for them to attack. Instead of jumping into action, however, the girls ran to Goten. Everybody watched in curiosity as Francesca held out the suit as if waiting for Goten to jump in while Yuki moved to his side.

"Hi, handsome." Yuki said, winking with a flirtatious smile. She then leaned over and whispered into his ear. Suddenly, a goofy smile spread across his blushing face. He eagerly grabbed the orange suit and put it on.

"Goten, no!" Bra and Pan shouted. As soon as the boy zipped up the zipper, his eyes became dull and soul-less.

"I will do your bidding, Lord Nanner." He said very flatly.

"Bastard!" Bra shouted, running toward James, but Goten was quick to intercept. A golden aura washed around the round orange suit, signifying that he had gone Super-Saiyan.

Bra stopped sharply and looked back to Pan. "Pan, I think it’s time we fight back!"

Pan nodded while Bra moved back to her. They stood side by side, staring at James, Goten, Francesca, and Yuki.

"Color pose!" They both shouted.

"Blue!" Pan shouted, positioning her arms like she was holding a rifle.

"Green!" Bra yelled, stretching out an arm above her and her other hand behind her. Suddenly, they both took off, Bra kicked at Goten while Pan went after Francesca and Yuki.

The two fruit girls moved away, safely avoiding Pan’s attack. Normally, humans wouldn’t be nearly fast enough, but Pan was taking it easy. Pan spun around and froze. She found herself staring into Yuki’s eyes. Immediately, she lost her passion to fight the girl. Pan could feel her cheeks sting as she blushed when Yuki winked at her.

"You should put on a suit, Cutie." Yuki said with the same smile that she had given Goten.

Pan blushed deeper and nodded. Before she knew it, she was wearing an apple suit.

Bra was having just as much trouble with Goten. No matter how ferociously she attacked, he blocked every strike. Suddenly, Bra crumpled on the ground when she felt someone kick her back. She rolled over to look at Pan, wearing a giant green apple suit.

"Pan, no!" Bra then rolled her head to see why her father and Goku had not helped. She was rather startled to see that they had vanished. Only Trunks was left, staring off into blank space. "Where’d Daddy and Goku go?" She asked aloud.

Her question was quickly answered when she heard James’ laughter. "I believe you will find that they are no longer among you."

She rolled over again to see James standing next to a sign that read: ‘FREE BUFFET’ then an arrow pointing down the street.

"NOOOOO!" Bra cried out, knowing that it was now useless. She again looked to Trunks. "What the hell is wrong with you?! HELP US!"

Trunks shook his head, snapping himself out of his trance. He immediately caught on to what was happening.

"Time for a color pose attack!" He shouted. "Pink!" He yelled, flexing his muscles.

In a flash of light, he transformed to Super-Saiyan and attacked, kicking Goten’s orange suit. He fell to the ground and began to roll down the street, screaming the whole way.

"Uh oh." James said, watching at Trunks quickly incapacitated Pan in much of the same way. "Only one hope left…"

James quickly ran to the truck and hopped into the back with all the suits. "Cronies!" He shouted. Francesca and Yuki both looked to him as he pulled a pill from his pocket. "If we commit suicide, they may become confused and kill themselves!"

"Wait…" Francesca said, "That doesn’t sound right…"

Yuki nodded, "Yeah, if we commit suicide, what’s the point in winning?"

"Don’t question my orders!" James yelled, popping the pill into his mouth and swallowing it.

"No!" Trunks yelled in an attempt to stop James from doing what he just did.

Bra watched eagerly, trying to hide the smile that was spreading across her face.

They all waited for a few moments, and nothing happened. Finally, James pulled a bottle from his pocket and looked at the label. After a quick examination, he smacked his head. "These aren’t the suicide pills, these are the Flintstones Vitamins!"

"Ah! Did you get Dino?" Trunks asked excitedly, "Dino’s the best!"

"Lord Nanner?" Yuki questioned, taking a step forward, "What now?"

James thought for a second, then yelled out "Run away!"

Within seconds, all three were gone.

Chapter XII After the truck was well out of sight, Trunks and Bra went out searching for their friends and their father. Pan and Goten were found at the end of the street, struggling with all their might to get up off their backs. The sight of a giant orange and apple struggling to get up like a couple of turtles was more than a little humorous, and Bra and Trunks had trouble keeping a straight face while they forced the suits off of their friends. Once free of the mind-altering suits, Pan and Goten returned to normal. “Whoa…” Goten moaned, “What just happened? All I remember was… happy…” Pan nodded, “Yeah, me too…” Her eyes suddenly widened and she quickly looked around in worry. “Where’d Yuki go?!” She demanded, a hint of concern in her voice. As soon as the girl’s name was mentioned, the same worried look washed over Goten’s face and he hastily joined in Pan’s search. “Yeah! She promised me-” He suddenly stopped, his cheeks turning red as he looked to the other three around him. “N… nevermind.” Bra rolled her eyes at him and turned to her brother. The zombie-like look that showed he was deep in thought had returned and he seemed to be staring at Pan. Rather fight it, Bra shrugged and turned around, “C’mon, we hafta find our dads.” Pan and Goten followed Bra as she walked down the street. Trunks simply walked behind them, watching Pan the whole time. I can’t believe she’s gay…but the way she looked at that girl, Yuki, proved it. I love her with all my heart, but she’ll never love me. Trunks thought sadly, Yuki is so lucky, I can’t believe she went off with that crazy guy… wait! His eyes widened as a new thought came to his mind. The look Pan gave Yuki was nothing but love… and since Yuki ran off on her, Pan’s heart has to be broken. I’m sure she’s hurting inside that her love ran, so she’ll need a shoulder to cry on… besides, maybe this’ll convince her that loving the same sex is too hard and she’ll want to be with me! A sly smile spread across Trunks’ lips, Yes! It’s perfect! All I need is to be there for her! With that last thought, he jumped forward to walk next to Pan. “So, Pan, I’m sorry Yuki left you like that.” He said sympathetically. Pan looked to him, just realizing that he had begun walking with her. “Huh?” Then, after his words registered, “Oh…” She shrugged, “Meh, it’s okay, I doubt anything would’ve worked between us… her being evil and all.” Trunks was a little taken back by this. She wasn’t sad? Then how was he to comfort her?! Deciding not to give up, however, he continued. “Still, I’m sure you’re heartbroken that your first love left you within the day you met.” Pan shrugged, “I wouldn’t have called it ‘love’. It was more like ‘attraction’; besides, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. All I have to do is go to a few ‘exclusive’ bars and I’ll be on the dating scene in no time.” Trunks’ jaw hit the ground and he froze. She was going to try again?! How stubborn was she?! She was already dumped by one girl, how many times did it take for her to realize that Trunks was the only person for her?!?! “Ah, there they are.” Bra said, continuing without even glancing back to her brother. Vegeta and Goku were slowly walking down the street toward them. Goku looked very disappointed and depressed while Vegeta looked like he was ready to kill Craig again. “There you guys are, lets go home!” Bra shouted. A tear came to Goku’s eye, “There was no free Buffet.” “Damn, rotten, fucking liar.” Vegeta mumbled. Bra’s eyebrows shot up, “I’m surprised at you, Dad! I’d expect that from Goku, but you were trained to control your appetite!” “Well, when my dinner is eaten while I’m away, I tend to get hungry. Then, when I’m promised free food that doesn’t exist, I get mad!” “NOOOOOOOOO!!!” Everybody quickly whipped around to look in the direction of the sudden outburst. Trunks had fallen to his knees, staring into the sky, “WHY?!?!?!” “What the hell is his problem?” Vegeta demanded, annoyance thickly covering his voice. “Beats me.” Pan said, shaking her head. “He’s been acting strange all day.” Goten responded. “Please, can we just get home,” Bra complained, rubbing her temples with her fingers, “All of this idiocy is giving me a headache.” Little did she know that the day of the barbecue was only the beginning… THE END… for now… MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'll probably only have one more chap in this, so.... send comments and/or sugestions to Godzilla3092@hotmail.com